Things I’ve Unlearned at 49

At 49, I’ve finally made peace with the fact that some of the most powerful life lessons don’t come from what we learn, but from what we unlearn.

I’ve unlearned the idea that being liked is more important than being real. I’ve unlearned the belief that success looks like exhaustion dressed up in designer bags and a fake smile. I’ve unlearned the need to be available to everyone, all the time, for everything.

Unlearning is holy work. It’s digging through years of emotional clutter, dusting off your core self, and saying: “There you are. I missed you.”

I used to think:

Being busy made me valuable. Now I know the rest makes me functional.

Saying yes made me kind. Now I know saying no makes me free.

Having a flat stomach meant I was worthy. Now I know peace with my body is the only six-pack I really need.

Here’s the truth I stand on now: You cannot build a full, joyful life on half-truths and people-pleasing. You cannot climb to your highest self if you're carrying a backpack full of “shoulds.”

So, if you’re feeling lost or behind or like it’s too late for you, let me lovingly slap that thought out of your head. It’s never too late to become who you were always meant to be. It’s never too late to trade burnout for boundaries. To replace shame with grace. To upgrade fear into faith.

Moving on means letting go of the heavy expectations that never served you. Moving up means rising into your boldest, most authentic self—unapologetically, and maybe even with a touch of glitter.